my legs going numb for keeping my phone on vibrate to hide the fact your boyfriend keeps texting me

so just to inform those who live under a rock, Ashley (non-anorexic) is on the cover of Marie Claire. did i read the article? hell no she has nothing interesting to say besides i was on full house. she makes me want to stop eating, get hair extensions to my hip, only wear black, be an asshole, drive a range rover, smoke cigs, only wear skinny jeans and hide my face from paparazzi.




next order of business.
BOYS

ummm can someone let me know when the hell...

this man is going to find me in a dark alley, steal my purse, take all my clothes off and call me his lady friend?